2/22/07
2/21/07
nature
There should be a word (and perhaps there is) which would convey the idea of two things being simultaneously identical, and completely dichotomous. Wholly connected, and at the same time absolutely discrete. It seems to me that this paradoxical state is the constant for everything (and everyone) in the universe; the basis of all life and human experience. Pretty cool.
2/20/07
The Work/Study filing song:
(to the tune of Rawhide)
(written by me!)
(and inspired by true events!)
(which occurred at Hartwick College)
Filing, filing, filing,
Gotta keep on filing.
Get those students filing,
Archives!
O! Alfred, Lynn and Heather,
Doomchin and Vetter,
Watch out for floods and keep ‘em dry!
All those yellow statements
That we keep in the basement
Of Arnold Hall, in draw-ers so high.
Chorus:
Put ‘em in, take ‘em out,
Take ‘em out, put ‘em in,
Shred ‘em up, tear ‘em up!
Archives!
Stuff ‘em in, mash ‘em down,
Push ‘em in, stuff ‘em in
Pile ‘em up, throw ‘em out!
Archives!
Keep on al-pha-be-tizin’,
Although the stacks are risin’
With paper cuts a’bleedin’
Archives!
You can’t find the right file?
It's prob’ly somewhere in that pile.
Tell your friends you’ll be awhile-
Archives!
(written by me!)
(and inspired by true events!)
(which occurred at Hartwick College)
Filing, filing, filing,
Gotta keep on filing.
Get those students filing,
Archives!
O! Alfred, Lynn and Heather,
Doomchin and Vetter,
Watch out for floods and keep ‘em dry!
All those yellow statements
That we keep in the basement
Of Arnold Hall, in draw-ers so high.
Chorus:
Put ‘em in, take ‘em out,
Take ‘em out, put ‘em in,
Shred ‘em up, tear ‘em up!
Archives!
Stuff ‘em in, mash ‘em down,
Push ‘em in, stuff ‘em in
Pile ‘em up, throw ‘em out!
Archives!
Keep on al-pha-be-tizin’,
Although the stacks are risin’
With paper cuts a’bleedin’
Archives!
You can’t find the right file?
It's prob’ly somewhere in that pile.
Tell your friends you’ll be awhile-
Archives!
reality
When the UPS guy brings his cart down the stairs to the mailroom next door, it makes a hollow BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! , which resounds loudly through the office.
I like to imagine that it's the Mummy of Arnold Hall on his way to visit our basement office, with arms outstretched, feet pounding, trailing dirt and tattered wrappings.... I would hide behind the copier, and pelt him with day-old donut holes. People would scream and run around. It would be lots of fun!
I like to imagine that it's the Mummy of Arnold Hall on his way to visit our basement office, with arms outstretched, feet pounding, trailing dirt and tattered wrappings.... I would hide behind the copier, and pelt him with day-old donut holes. People would scream and run around. It would be lots of fun!
dire
When you find yourself fantasizing about food instead of sex, it's a bad sign.
Chocolate milk chocolate milk chocolate milk
Chocolate milk chocolate milk chocolate milk
2/13/07
f/m-ood (status: shitty)
So, I’m trying out this 'detox' diet where you eat various stuff on various days to ‘purify’ your system. It lasts 7 days; not long enough to do any harm, right? I thought it would be fun to try, having just gotten back from eating way too much on vacation. Everyone always eats way too much on vacation, and I'm no exception. So, trying out this diet seemed like a good idea at the time. 'The time' being yesterday evening. Not that long ago, really. Fascinating how one's view of things can change so radically overnight.
They tell you you can eat as much as you want of the stuff, but only that stuff on that day. Today is vegetable soup and fruit. I’m hungry, and I want bread and chocolate and bananas, but I can't have bananas. Not today. Today is vegetable soup, and any fruit _but_ bananas. [It really says that! "...and any fruit (except bananas)."] I had vegetable soup for dinner last night, and vegetable soup for lunch today, and goddamnit, the last thing I want for dinner is the fucking vegetable soup. Tomorrow is vegetable soup and vegetables. Thrilling. Then there’s a beef and skim milk day, and a bananas and something day... THEN they let you eat the bananas. Of course, by that day I'll be craving the vegetable soup.
This is day one. We’ll see how far I get.
They tell you you can eat as much as you want of the stuff, but only that stuff on that day. Today is vegetable soup and fruit. I’m hungry, and I want bread and chocolate and bananas, but I can't have bananas. Not today. Today is vegetable soup, and any fruit _but_ bananas. [It really says that! "...and any fruit (except bananas)."] I had vegetable soup for dinner last night, and vegetable soup for lunch today, and goddamnit, the last thing I want for dinner is the fucking vegetable soup. Tomorrow is vegetable soup and vegetables. Thrilling. Then there’s a beef and skim milk day, and a bananas and something day... THEN they let you eat the bananas. Of course, by that day I'll be craving the vegetable soup.
This is day one. We’ll see how far I get.
2/10/07
commonplace
I am a really good photographer.
There are lots of really good photographers in the world.
I suppose that with Art, as with humanitarian efforts, one should be able to think globally, and yet still have the determination to act (as it were) locally.
There are lots of really good photographers in the world.
I suppose that with Art, as with humanitarian efforts, one should be able to think globally, and yet still have the determination to act (as it were) locally.
2/9/07
"How many cans must I stack up / to wash you out of my mind, / Out of my consciousness?"
Two more things I find irritating:
-People who don't take things seriously.
-People who take things too seriously. (a sin I often commit)
But in fact, there often isn't much difference between the two. It seems that life needs to be lived in the balance; if you live as though everything were serious, you're not being serious enough about living.
This reminds me of the lyrics in that Soul Coughing song; I'm always amazed by how many people can't tell that the words are switching:
"You know but that you go on...
You know that but you go on...."
-People who don't take things seriously.
-People who take things too seriously. (a sin I often commit)
But in fact, there often isn't much difference between the two. It seems that life needs to be lived in the balance; if you live as though everything were serious, you're not being serious enough about living.
This reminds me of the lyrics in that Soul Coughing song; I'm always amazed by how many people can't tell that the words are switching:
"You know but that you go on...
You know that but you go on...."
the airspeed velocity of a frozen blueberry
CHISAKI WATANABE
Associated Press
TOKYO - A Japanese food company recalled nearly 5 million cans of tuna Friday after a customer found part of a box cutter blade in a can, a company official said. There were no injuries from the blade, company official Kunimitsu Asakura said. The recall followed the disclosure earlier this week that a shotgun pellet had been found in December in a pack of frozen blueberries from Canada sold by Nichiro. Nichiro said on Wednesday that Purewal Blueberry Farm, the Canadian producer of blueberries for Nichiro, prohibits the use of shotguns at its farms to chase away birds, and the pellet may have been a stray shot from a nearby farm. Nichiro said it has no plans to recall its blueberries because there were no other complaints and it was unlikely that the problem would recur.
-Yes, I imagine it _would_ be rather difficult to complain about anything while choking on a shotgun pellet.
Associated Press
TOKYO - A Japanese food company recalled nearly 5 million cans of tuna Friday after a customer found part of a box cutter blade in a can, a company official said. There were no injuries from the blade, company official Kunimitsu Asakura said. The recall followed the disclosure earlier this week that a shotgun pellet had been found in December in a pack of frozen blueberries from Canada sold by Nichiro. Nichiro said on Wednesday that Purewal Blueberry Farm, the Canadian producer of blueberries for Nichiro, prohibits the use of shotguns at its farms to chase away birds, and the pellet may have been a stray shot from a nearby farm. Nichiro said it has no plans to recall its blueberries because there were no other complaints and it was unlikely that the problem would recur.
-Yes, I imagine it _would_ be rather difficult to complain about anything while choking on a shotgun pellet.
2/8/07
humility
Being (for whatever reason) a rather self-effacing sort of person, I've been trying to become better at showing off, but it's hard. Despite my best attempts, life still conspires to keep me humble.
An example:
Last week (in Ecuador) I was faced, unexpectedly, with a stuffed toilet (not of my own stuffing, I might add.) (and so I did) (add it, I mean.)
I was in a rented apartment, and, with one eye on the rising water in the bowl, I looked around wildly for a plunger. Not finding one, I thought to myself, "what is there on hand that's about the right size, and could serve to get some vacuum pressure going in there?" And my brain immediately answered: "a 2-liter soda bottle!"
I ran to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and an empty Dasani bottle, chopped the top off it, and was back to the bathroom within seconds. I squeezed away at the bottle and was amazed to find that my plan worked perfectly! Almost better than a real plunger!
The excitement over, I went back to the couch to read. When Erin and Victoria walked in a few minutes later, I told them about my inspired emergency action; my amazing 2-liter hack!
They looked bored, and Victoria said "oh yeah, I read about someone doing that in some magazine a couple of months ago."
Oh well. I was disappointed, but soon consoled myself with the thought that at least I wasn't wasting my allotted 15-minutes of fame on a toilet....
An example:
Last week (in Ecuador) I was faced, unexpectedly, with a stuffed toilet (not of my own stuffing, I might add.) (and so I did) (add it, I mean.)
I was in a rented apartment, and, with one eye on the rising water in the bowl, I looked around wildly for a plunger. Not finding one, I thought to myself, "what is there on hand that's about the right size, and could serve to get some vacuum pressure going in there?" And my brain immediately answered: "a 2-liter soda bottle!"
I ran to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and an empty Dasani bottle, chopped the top off it, and was back to the bathroom within seconds. I squeezed away at the bottle and was amazed to find that my plan worked perfectly! Almost better than a real plunger!
The excitement over, I went back to the couch to read. When Erin and Victoria walked in a few minutes later, I told them about my inspired emergency action; my amazing 2-liter hack!
They looked bored, and Victoria said "oh yeah, I read about someone doing that in some magazine a couple of months ago."
Oh well. I was disappointed, but soon consoled myself with the thought that at least I wasn't wasting my allotted 15-minutes of fame on a toilet....
about anger
People who know me [especially Joel] often accuse me of being too forgiving, too tolerant, with a disconcerting lack of anger and irritability. Therefore, I am going to make a list [albeit an incomplete list] of things that royally piss me off, just for the record:
-Carelessness
-Apathy
-Ridicule
-Littering (that should go under 'Apathy')(and probably under 'Self-Importance' too)
-Self-Importance = this includes:
-people who interrupt others in conversation
-people who drive dangerously. Especially those assholes who come up behind you and flash their high beams to tell you to speed the hell up and let them through. Especially when you're already going the speed limit and there's plenty of room for them to go around you in another lane.
-drunken college students who have loud parties and keep the whole neighborhood awake all night.
-people who allow themselves to be rude to strangers just because they don't ever have to see them again.
-people who are dismissive and/or curt towards waiters/waitresses or other customer service reps.
-people who act without first thinking how their actions will affect others
-drunk college students
-people who do any kind of in-person business transaction while simultaneously having a personal conversation on a cell phone.
-did I mention: drunk college students
-loud campers
-Americans who act like 'Americans' while they're abroad
-a friend who puts you on hold for more than one minute to answer the other line...
-...in fact, anyone whose actions consistently indicate that their time is more important than yours.
-Carelessness
-Apathy
-Ridicule
-Littering (that should go under 'Apathy')(and probably under 'Self-Importance' too)
-Self-Importance = this includes:
-people who interrupt others in conversation
-people who drive dangerously. Especially those assholes who come up behind you and flash their high beams to tell you to speed the hell up and let them through. Especially when you're already going the speed limit and there's plenty of room for them to go around you in another lane.
-drunken college students who have loud parties and keep the whole neighborhood awake all night.
-people who allow themselves to be rude to strangers just because they don't ever have to see them again.
-people who are dismissive and/or curt towards waiters/waitresses or other customer service reps.
-people who act without first thinking how their actions will affect others
-drunk college students
-people who do any kind of in-person business transaction while simultaneously having a personal conversation on a cell phone.
-did I mention: drunk college students
-loud campers
-Americans who act like 'Americans' while they're abroad
-a friend who puts you on hold for more than one minute to answer the other line...
-...in fact, anyone whose actions consistently indicate that their time is more important than yours.
firstpost (lastpre?)
Having just gotten back from 10 days in ecuador, I'm not in the mood to work. At all. So, it seemed like a good plan to copy my cousin Jamie and start a blog for this [still] new year. It seems like a good plan, both because it involves imitation of someone I highly admire [ie: Jamie], and because I often have a lot of things to say, and not much opportunity for saying them. This lack of opportunity is due both to the fact that most other people like to talk (so I often find myself in the role of listener), and to my own fault of being too sensitive to other people's interest level in what I have to say; if I sense that their attention is wandering, I prefer to be silent.
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