a consomme of consumption

In the midst of making cookies, doing dishes, listening to a CD, cleaning off the kitchen table, repairing my backpack, while I'd left an episode of Buffy paused halfway-through in the living-room, I felt compelled to turn on the computer and check my email. As if I don't get enough multi-tasking at work.

This led me to reflect on the nature of online life... and the fact that, as much as it's a boon, it's also something that, well, can take you over.

Not an original thought, of course - I'm sure books have been written about it.

But, for the same reason that I resist doing too much of anything for any length of time - watching tv, reading, writing, being alone, being with friends - for the same reason that falling in love sorta bugs me out on some level, and [probably] that I've not yet allowed myself to pursue a career in something meaningful to me, or to settle in one place and commit to a community - in the last few weeks, I have definitely felt myself resisting the all-consuming nature of the internet.

There is something both wonderful and terrible about being consumed by something. To lose yourself in something, or someone, is the most amazing feeling... until that moment when you suddenly realize that you've lost yourself, and then it's absolutely terrifying.

Wasn't it Aristotle who was going on and on about moderation in all things?

Although, that said, I'm going to contradict myself and say that perhaps I need to consider doing moderation in moderation.

Because I truly belive that only by allowing oneself to be consumed can one reach...uhh... consummation.