Two things I've added to myself since the age of 24:
cynicism
a sense of humor
...you know, it's, like, buying accessories for your camera. Sometimes they cost more than you expected.
But, no, no, on second thought, the cynicism has been there since the beginning.
When I was in second or third grade, my school showed two informational films to the whole student body; one on the evils of smoking; the other on pollution and the effects of overpopulation/development in natural areas. The environmental film, I remember, had some very upsetting shots of wetland nesting grounds with bulldozer tracks running through them; they first showed you the birds nesting happily among the reeds and cattails, and then the same location a week later, plowed flat, with just a few tell-tale feathers to speak to the fate of the chicks.
On the way back up to the classroom, I said to our student teacher, "now if that won't make you start smoking, I don't know what will!" She looked at me blankly; I knew she didn't get what I was saying.
I remember this experience particularly, because it was when I started noticing that things I said were often misinterpreted by grownups, and even peers. I'd get a lot of those blank looks, or (worse) weird looks.
Makes you stop talking at all, eventually.
In fact, I really believe that most shyness develops when people start to feel that anything they say or do will inevitably be misunderstood. [I just made that up, but it feels right.]
About Me
- k8fh
- I'm just like everyone else; a mass of contradictions.... I want things to go my way, but I'm often disappointed by the outcome when they do. I love solitude, but choose to spend most of my time with people. I long for, but am terrified of, permanence. Learning to embrace (or at least endure) loss of any kind is my greatest challenge. I live in Oneonta with my good friend Joel, my ex-boyfriend's cat, Clovis, and a ton of plants.
2 comments:
Never heard of anyone who is shy and fearful of being misunderstood writing a blog. You must be getting over the problem. Glad you have because I do like your writings.
:-) thanks! Yep, what can be learned, can be un-learned! (or so they say) (and I sure hope they're right!) (whoever 'they' are)
...That said, I'd also comment that blogging can be experienced as a safe&friendly interface; I think you'd find that there are TONS of socially-awkward, shy people out there blogging away like mad; anonymity gives them the courage to speak. Which is great, because we all need to [speak], and to be heard. Blogging is the new social drug; breaks the ice. Sorta. It's a bit deceptive; has the illusion of intimacy, the reality of talking to a computer screen while sitting alone in your little room.
So I vote for more gathering on porches! More conversations over tea and cookies! More weekend cookouts! (...She said stridently to the comment window on her blogsite.)
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